The Last, The Lost, The Least - Relient K

Live a life of privilege
Pushing back the last, the lost
The least of these
To dull the edge of concscience
With conceit

Live a life and see the world
Feel its weight on the shoulders
Of the least of these
It spins and twirls
Without rest or relief

Track Twenty-two

It's another bullshit attempt
At something that I'll fail over again
Yet again, it's treated with contempt
And I'll wait here for the consequential rain

Welcome to the Window. Why do some people constantly try over and over again to achieve their goals? Is it sheer desperation, the need to prove themselves, or the real want to accomplish the task? For me, it's more stupidity than anything else. I don't learn from previous mistakes very well unfortunately. My method is along the lines of: "Place head in paper bag. Run towards goal." The worst part about this style is when you run into something that's not gonna budge. Slightly painful. What's your style? Smile =]

Take it easy everyone.

Realisation

To travel so far, simply searching
For what I have become
Crossing waters, with fears lurking
Far below the surface calm

Looking down, all there is to see
Is what I missed all along
Staring into eyes, still haunting me
My former self, now lost to wrong

Yet here I stand, no longer blind
Walking on waters still
So much achieved, all to find...

I am whatever I want to be

Crucial

V1.
If every thought was a note
And the pen, pure imagination
Blood, sweat, tears for paper
Every bar you write
Crucial.

V2.
If every wish was a song
and the artist, sheer inspiration
Love, longing, for paper
Every bar you write
Crucial.

V3.
If every life was a gift
And the giver, your own decisions
Hope the wrapping paper
Every card you write
Crucial.

Track Twenty-one

"We had a real chance to change our description"

Notorious B.I.G

Welcome to the Window. People frequently ask me, do I enjoy being so different to everyone else? Do I like the fact that I stand out? Well, frankly, yes I do. I enjoy it because it's who I am, I refuse to let other people change who I am. Yes, I'm constantly presented opportunities to just slip into the regularity of what I'm expected to be, but if everyone did that, then some people would definitely have trouble with their identities and lives, who they socialise with, etc. You read stories and watch movies about how so and so went on a trip to wherever or around the world, in an attempt to find their true identity, and connect with their inner selves. Truth to be told, that is a load of rubbish, and sorry to all of you who actually believed that and I unknowingly insulted you. You don't need to waste thousands of dollars traveling from coast to coast, country to country. The harsh reality of finding your true self is to simply wake the hell up from your go with the flow attitude, and come to terms with what you really are. Take eccentrics for example. They are truly being themselves, not afraid to show it, and not afraid to take whatever kind of comments the world might hurl at them. Geeks, nerds, geniuses, all of them seem like freaks to us, because they have something that we don't, something that may not be considered normal, and so they get labelled all sorts of cruel names. At the end of the day however, it's impossible to not have a grudging respect for them at least, for their God given talent or the height to which they worked so hard to achieve. Sure, they wander around the school, all hunch backed, looking really odd, but at least they're not pretending to be something that they're not. At least they are happy with what they are.
Everyday, we cover up, at least partially, what we truly are. I'll admit to doing it myself, but that's the first step that's harder than the rest of the route. When you acknowledge that you have a problem, you've taken the first step to fixing it.
I just realised that most of this probably doesn't make coherent sense, so I'll leave it here. Smile =]

Peace out.

Track Twenty

Why is it that some people can't read? It's like the people who turn right when it clearly says "No Right Turn", or that idiot who constantly tries to push a door open when it says "Pull". Surely, people, surely man isn't that dumb?
Welcome to the Window. Now, for those of you who read my "about me" section, for God's sake, read it thoroughly. I ask you not to judge me, and not make yourself sound and look like an absolute tool. I'm not fake, not an imitation, not a "wannabe" or a poser. How much clearer can I make myself.
For those of you who actually have a problem or any issues with my blog, please, by all means, send me a message, email me, call me, tell me to my face, however you want to do it. This is beyond a joke, if you can't summon up the courage to actually say it to the person, then keep it to yourself. And for those of you with these opinions with an iota, a tiny fraction of intelligence who've realised that their issues regarding this blog are stupid and petty, congratulations, you're on your way to getting a diploma in life skills, so smile =]

Take it easy everyone.

So Long

Half of what I used to be
Yet wanting twice as much
Wishing on stars too bright
Complacency rescue me
Save me from thoughts as such
Rock me to sleep tonight
Every sound now what I see
Hurting at the slightest touch
What's happening to me, this night
Crying out, an empty plea
Words to heal, I long to clutch
Tell me when I'll be alright

Running (Dying To Live)

You know, I wonder if they'll laugh when I'm dead...
Why am I fighting to live
If I'm just living to fight?
Why am I trying to see
When there ain't nothing in sight?
Why am I trying to give
When no one gives me a try?
Why am I dying to live
If I'm just living to die?

Tupac Shakur

Track Eighteen

The sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoia's brought me to my knees
Lord please please please
Take away my anxiety

Black Eyed Peas ft. Papa Roach

Welcome to the Window. Thinking nights tend to suck. Very badly. I mean, it's hard for a mind to function properly with only three hours sleep no? And when you're constantly plagued by thoughts that you know will drive you insane, watching yourself being brought to your knees by the anxiety and paranoia is even worse.
I noticed something really odd. For the last three days I haven't done any dancing at all. I honestly don't know why, I just haven't really felt the want to just jam. For me, this is a disturbing development. Music hasn't felt the same as it has, I can't feel the rhythm, the beat as well as I could, I can't lose myself in it.
Lord please, please, please, take away my anxiety.

Take it easy everyone, smile =]

Track Seventeen

I noticed from a photo my friend took yesterday, that I happen to have this one really massive neck muscle. Yes, I thought that was a necessary piece of information to share with everyone. Now I have, you all know a bit more about me.
Welcome to the Window. It's one of those days, where the sun was shining, not a cloud in sight, and then it starts to piss rain. Speaking of which, why is it that rain falling resembles sadness? "The sky is crying with me, mirroring my emotions." Hahaha, no offense, but the sky couldn't give a shit about your emotions. I love the rain, the wind, dark weather, all the weather that emo people like to reflect their pain with. Unfortunately though, in my eyes, the rain shows a change, the washing away of the day's problems. Wind brings a sharp slap in the face to tell you to snap out of your self depressing state, and dark weather is just dark. That's all. End.
Hypocricy is on the verge of everyone's lips. You can deny it, you can accuse someone of it, regardless of how much you may try defend yourself of being a hypocrite, you are one, and every defensive word leaving your mouth simply digs your grave even deeper. Best move I'd say is just keep your mouth shut.
So, as a result of this epiphany, I will end here. "It's so totally the bad weather. Rain is my pain flowing."

Haha smile =]

Take it easy everyone.

Amazing Grace [Revised]

V1.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch, like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see

V2.
Let time and sun, stand still for all
And rains, come wash away
Such fears I've seen, and heal my soul
To see the new dawn's day

V3.
Endure, my heart, the weary load
Till grace comes saving me
I will not rest, and hope unfold
Stand strong for fears to be

V4.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
To souls as torn as mine
I once was broken, now I've found
The healing words of time



[Just a quick note, this song is one of the greatest ever written. It was composed by John Newton, who was formerly a slave trader in the 1700s. I ask that those of you who don't like the song, both original or my version, to keep your opinions to yourselves, and not be disrespectful of the power of this song.

Take it easy everyone.]

Track Sixteen

I am a little bit of loneliness
A little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints but I can't help the fact
That everybody can see these scars
I am what I want you to want, what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do
I can't convince you
To just believe this is real

Linkin Park

Welcome to the Window. Has anyone ever felt like if they suddenly left, simply disappeared, that their presence wouldn't be missed? I know I do. It's not hard to slip into that mentality. Add a little bit of disregard, a touch of brokenness, a smattering of fragility, and it's more than enough to make anyone want to just get away. Sometimes though, in the midst of our deepest fear and despair, we have to think beyond our narrowed scope. We have to think about who we're leaving in our wake. There's that little colloquial phrase: "My two cents worth". Two cents is hardly anything. These days, you can't buy a single thing for two cents. Well, let's throw it into perspective. If you're part of something, and your two cents adds to other people's two cents to make a dollar, you all use that dollar for a common goal, a unified wish. However, when you take away your two cents, only ninety-eight cents is left, and that goal can't be achieved, and only your two cents can complete it. We may think, in our darkest moments, that we won't be missed, that our legacy will be forgotten or easily replaced, but it can't be. The piece of the puzzle, the two cents that you possess can't be replicated or substituted for anything less or more. To think of others in our own pain is near impossible, but it's something that we have to do, regardless of the excruciation.
Sometimes, facing the source of our pain isn't the ultimate challenge. Facing ourselves, the greatest fear of seeing what we really are, is the real challenge. To confront our inner turmoil is harder than any feat performable by mankind. The day we face ourselves down, that is the day that we can truly be free, truly feel bliss. Smile =]

Take it easy everyone.

Wakeless

V1.
Sleep has come, the blessed close
Yet peace will not arrive
Eluding, mocking, daring to oppose
The steady flow, quick to connive
Wakeless in September, sleeping anguishedly

V2.
"Say you'll love me when I wake"
Yearning words, they're oh so cliche
Every time they leave lips, so fake
Testing ties beyond concious melee
Wakeless in September, sleeping tearfully

V3.
Slipping through the static
Yesterday simply white noise
Each memory slowly fading, systematic
To the rise and fall of breath, no more voice
Wakeless in September, sleeping hopefully


[Wakeless. Till. Every. Yesterday. Subsides]

Sleepless

V1.
Eyes awake, mind wide open
The air is still, the breeze is silent
Shaking hand, is the only motion
Left in this night, such lonely movement
Sleepless in September, cry the night away

V2.
Every innovation failing
Time is waiting, not for me
Serving none, taking all prevailing
Less of me remains, could I be
Sleepless in September, watch the night away

V3.
Evening came, and left me here
Turned to dark, so soon, too fast
Slipped away, now dawn is near
Lies awake, my trembling heart
Sleepless in September, till the break of day


[Every. Time. Someone. Lies. Sleepless.]

I Am

V1.
Sitting here, waiting for the train
My final train, to get me away
From this place, these hopes and dreams
That never existed, figments I made
Of my desperate imagination
Clinging to the impossible
Wishing always, for more
And yet afraid of the line uncrossable
Now here, the next train to come
Not for hours, hours on end
Leaving me here, with thoughts undone
Thoughts undone? All of you, dear friend

V2.
Open the eyes of clouded thought
Dreading every waking moment
If, by chance, it was me who caught
You, would you love me, past and present?
Each fear I have of countless hours
Racing away from me
I hide inside of self, no power
Keeping each secret dear to thee
After all is said and done
When the train has finally left
I still sit and wait, at the station
For you, my friend, with baited breath

[The words become harder and harder to write, in the knowledge that the work's intended reader, will never set eyes upon it. Till another day, another day.]

Track Fifteen

You were nonchalant, strong, and unaffected
And you never wanted me to be there
I never saw your heart, that's how close you kept it
So right now I'm so unsure how to care

Jordin Sparks

Welcome to the Window. I'm really groggy right now, haven't been sleeping much recently, so my thoughts here may be really incoherent. Feeling pretty empty at the moment. I don't want to go out, I don't want to do anything really. Just, nothing.
I have a question for you. When you're the one people turn to for help, and are looking to for support, who or what do you have to turn to when you need it yourself? You'll find that to those "friends" who turned to you, you were nothing more than a towel for them to rub their tears off onto. Yes, I'm back on the whole using friends issue. I can't stand it. I'm stuck here, with no idea what to do. I suppose I should take my own advice, but it's always easier to prescribe the medicine to someone, than take it yourself right?

Smile =]

Take it easy everyone.

Track Fourteen

Welcome to the Window. I hate it when my heart misses a beat. Every time it does, time stands still, and everything is quiet. Usually, this sort of thing happens for a good reason right? Sort of. Tonight, it happened.
Doctor, doctor, help me.
Smile everyone =]

Take it easy.

Track Thirteen

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

Coldplay

Welcome to the Window. You know what sort of situation really gets to me? The type where you want to talk to someone, but you're too scared. You're scared because you're afraid of failing, so hard that you can't repair it. But somehow, at one point, I managed to mask it up, and talk. As a consequence, I suppose I conveyed an image of someone totally different to what I really am. Which, in itself, is a really good thing, because it prevents people from just seeing an entire heap of rubbish right? The bad part, is that having such a cover makes the first impression that lasts a lifetime, and is usually never reversed. What to do right?
Right now, I find myself in a situation similar to the one mentioned above, with a few differences here and there. I want to talk to this person, but, as a friend to them, I feel like I've failed, over and over. I couldn't cut it to be able to support them, help them and be there for them when they needed someone, even though the odds of them actually turning to me were close to zero. I doubt, even after how much I tried, I made a slight indent in this friend's mind, let alone life. Yet again, what to do.
So, here I sit, wondering to talk to them or not. Frankly, I'm just afraid. I really am. Can only smile =] right?

Take it easy

Track Twelve

I don't want you to know, what I am
Cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been in.

Relient k

Welcome to the Window. Right now though, if you look through the window, my guitarist is sick, my drummer has two broken feet, and my lead singer is lost. It's not the greatest situation, and I'm a mess. I can't write anything properly tonight, so, just smile more =]

Take it easy.

From the Inside - Linkin Park

Don’t know who to trust
No surprise
Everyone feels so far away from me
Heavy thoughts sift through dust
And the lies

Trying not to break
But I’m so tired of this deceit
Every time I try to make myself
Get back up on my feet
All I ever think about is this
All the tiring time between
And how
Trying to put my trust in you
Just takes so much out of me

I take everything from the inside
And throw it all away
‘Cause I swear
For the last time
I won’t trust myself with you

Tension is building inside
Steadily
Everyone feel sso far away from me
Heavy thoughts forcing their way
Out of me

I won’t trust myself with you
I won’t waste myself on you
Waste myself on you

Track Eleven

I wish I was a choo-choo train
And choo my way from here
Set straight the track, no turning back
Away from fear, to fear.

Welcome to the Window. Some days, you want to curl up into a ball and wish you were something better. That was my day today. I found out some "interesting" information, to put it lightly, and I really did just want to hide away from everyone. Yes, this is probably as emo as I'll get, and yes, it's one of my most vulnerable times. Shit happens though. Smile =]

Peace out everyone.

Track Ten

At the starting of the week
At summit talks you'll hear them speak
It's only Monday
Negotiations breaking down
See those leaders start to frown
It's sword and gun day

Six Days - Mos Def


Welcome to the Window. I was just listening to the song above, and at first, because of the type of song that it is, the lyrics didn't really seem to register in my mind. Then it struck me to try search up the lyrics, because I didn't understand to clearly what the singer was saying. And, as it turns out, the lyrics are quite deep. Not emo deep, that's pretty shallow if you think about it. Deep as in they get you thinking about how things around you, lives, minds, hearts etc work. I recommend you search up the lyrics for the song, and for those of you who like music which is along the lines of rock and hip hop, then get the song, it's definitely worth it.
Smile =] God's watching. Haha.

Take it easy everyone.

Track Nine

When the music plays, all you have to do is let your mind wander, let the notes carry you somewhere that no one else can hear or see.

Welcome to the Window. So, out of my four or so readers, has anyone noticed how my introduction is a lot like a tv show's? "Welcome to the Today Show!" Mm what to do, what to do.
I've been asked by a few people why music is so central to me, what kind of music I like, etc. Well, let me put it like this. For me, without music, I would have lost my sanity a long time ago. Yes, to all you smart asses who are saying "what sanity?", I'm still sane. Music has the capacity to enhance your emotions, flourish your feelings. Anger, stress, love, hate, longing, desperation, you name it, it's been in a song. Hell, when I'm in a funny bugger mood, I'll listen to Weird Al. And that's the thing about music. Regardless of who wrote it, who sung it, how popular they are, the song can express exactly what you could never find the words for.
Dance. Why do I dance? "Mark, you realise, dancing is for dousche bags." Um, no I don't actually. Dancing is for anyone and everyone. But the reasons that you dance can determine whether you're a dousche or not. If you dance just to get girls, like I admittadly did for a while, then yes, you do make it into the dousche status. On the other hand, if you, like I do now, dance for the pure enjoyment of it, for the reason of just expressing yourself through the music, and letting the beats and the rhythm capture your body, then you're an entire level above the rest. That is what I dance for, that is why I dance. And smile =] while I do it.

Take it easy everyone.

Track Eight

Welcome to the Window.

Tonight there's no snappy introduction, because I simply can't be bothered.
Smile everyone =]

Take it easy

A Place For My Head - Linkin Park

V1
I watch how the moon sits in the sky
On a dark night shining with the light from the sun
The sun doesn't give light to the moon
Assuming the moon's going to owe it one
It makes me think of how you act to me
You do favors and then rapidly
You just turn around and start asking me about
Things you want back from me

Bridge
I'm sick of the tension, sick of the hunger
Sick of you acting like I owe you this
Find another place to feed your greed
While I find a place to rest

Chorus
I want to be in another place
I hate when you say you don't understand
(You'll see it's not meant to be)
I want to be in the energy, not with the enemy
A place for my head

V2
Maybe someday I'll be just like you, and
Step on people like you do and
Run away the people I thought I knew
I remember back then who you were
You used to be calm, used to be strong
Used to be generous, but you should've known
That you'd wear out your welcome
Now you see how quiet it is, all alone

Bridge 2
You, try to take the best of me
Go away
You, try to take the best of me
Go away
You, try to take the best of me
Go away
You, try to take the best of me
Go away!

Track Seven

"If I've learned anything from this; It would all be gone, it would all be gone." Unfortunately, being me, I don't learn certain things very well.

Welcome to the Window. Sitting in my chair, I'm currently not in the best of conditions. I wish to be something, someone different, and yet at the same time, wouldn't change a thing about my life. Why must I choose to be so damn complicated? Why can't I be like some stupid jock and not care about anything, anyone else but the next party and the next opportunity to get a screw? I'm sick of the wrong people getting things that others deserve. I'm sick of being such a pathetic existence of a person, not knowing whether I'd be good enough for a girl, or be bold enough to ask her out. I'm especially sick of just being so weak, even though for the most part, I put on the tough facade. Can't I just be normal? Maybe then I'd be a better candidate to go out with.
In the past, I'd try change who I am to grab the attention of someone I liked, or try to find ways and means to humour them, make them smile, laugh, happy, and in doing so, maybe reciprocate my feelings for them, and realise what I felt. In the process, however, I lost too much, and luckily, realised it before it was too late. So, I try the "just be me" approach. Nothing really works.
This term, I've been getting pretty good grades at school. Ok, they're really good grades. But why? Why only this term? Because I've needed a way to run away from everything. I don't want to run away from home, music and dance help me escape, but for only as long as I have time to listen to or do them. So I literally jump into my books, smother myself with a few maths equations, some bio homework to drown myself in. But when it's all done, and I sit, not lie, but sit in my bed till two or three in the morning, just thinking, what's there left to hide in? When I'm walking home from somewhere, and there's no one to talk to or anything to really distract me, where is there to hide?
What am hiding from though? Well, first, there's my life in general. Seriously, fuck all you wannabe emo's, you say your life sucks, yet you have no fucking clue what it's really life for your life to suck. Your parents didn't give you that ipod or new phone, or they ask you to do a chore, and suddenly your fucking world ends. Your girlfriend or boyfriend dumps you after three months. Wow. Get some damn perspective in your life. You want emo? Get a fucked up family, a fucked up situation, and a fucked up mind, THEN and only then, come and tell me your emo problems.
What else is there for me? Ah yes, the typical girl problems that every young man faces in his life. For me, this isn't just some crush though. When it comes to girls, I really do fail badly. I wish I didn't think so far into the future sometimes, but it's because of that, I don't have enough guts or self esteem to ask a girl out. So, the very few girls I happen to like, I always watch get with someone else. It's quite sad and pathetic, yes, but what to do right?
Ah, I'm tired of being so frustrated, I'm finished for the night. Remember, =] more.

Peace out everyone.

Track Six

It's the last week of school for the term, I'm happy. Welcome to the Window.

I missed out blogging yesterday, due to a particularly difficult chinese sac today, so I sincerely apologize to my readers, all three of you, if there are even that many. I realised a little too late, Saturday night, that I should have prepared a little more than I had, but it's over and done with, if I can scrape a fifteen out of twenty I'll be satisfied. More than satisfied, I'll be ecstatic.
I wanted to talk about legacy today. One small factor that made me think about this was the ANZAC Legacy foundation, selling those little pins for charity etc. What is a legacy? Why would anyone want to have one? What use does it even have for you?
Anyone ever heard the song by Linkin Park: "Leave Out All The Rest"? Well, there's one part in it, the chorus, that really gets my mind going.

"When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reason to be missed
Don't resent me
When you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest"

Even though this definition is what you'd find in the dictionary, it's all the legacy that anyone would ever want: Leave behind some reason to be missed. When someone in your life passes away, for just how long do you remember them? They don't even need to pass on, they could move away, or something could happen between the two of you that would cause communication to break down. How much would you miss them? The gap that some of these people leave in your life is sometimes irreparable, and yet in some cases, you get over it in a flash.
Let's look at it from another perspective. What if you were the one to pass on, or to leave someone's life? You'd want to be remembered for all that you've done, the good and the bad. We whine in our day to day lives about how someone forgets us so suddenly, or we're not thought of enough, but in reality, aren't there people who are thinking exactly the same way regarding us?

I would go on, but this is becoming incomprehensable for the most part, so I think I'll stop here for legacy.

Right now, my mind isn't really focussing on what it should be. I'll quit while I'm ahead, save some face =]

Take it easy everyone.

Gone

Pointless like the builder in the storm
Build up just to have it torn
Crumbling, crashing, effort gone
Then begin again, try moving on
From left and right no help arrives
From front and rear no caring ear
Just watch the helpless waste of life
Toiling onwards, year by year

Brittle glass, tap and shatter
Shielding soulful, sorrowful self
Selfish, sinful, sickly sweet
Yet sinking slowly, screaming softly
Save me, someone, send the storm
The rain that soaks my swaying will
Beating, silent, on my door
Slowly soothing scars and wound
Slowly healing, healing, gone...

Track Five

I have to make sure that i set aside a daily time to write these things instead of midnight every single damn time.

Welcome to the Window. Tonight I'm tired, so I won't be giving a lecture on anything interesting. All I'll give you tonight, is a one word teaser for tomorrow. Haha, teaser, as if that many people read my blog and are going to be excited by the teaser. Well, the one word is legacy.

Good night everyone, take it easy.

Unwritten

Close the curtain
The show is done
And all that remains
Are the silent empty seats alone
You played your piece
Your heart and soul
But yet you still believe
You could have given more


So where, where was the missing verse
That chorus so beautiful
The solo unheard
And the keys, the keys that didn't call
Where was it all
The song that you heard in your sleep?

She, she is the words I sing
Each note I write
Each verse I bring
But she, she was my everything
And now everything is gone
She is the songs that I could never write
The songs to which i couldn't breathe life

Leave the hall
Walk out the door
Never to return again
To play your final encore
As the lights grow dim
So do your eyes
You've lost the music
That kept your soul alive

So where, where was the missing verse
That chorus so beautiful
The solo unheard
And the keys, the keys that didn't call
Where was it all
The song that you heard in your sleep?

She, she is the words I sing
Each note I write
Each verse I bring
But she, she was my everything
And now everything is gone
She is the songs that I could never write
The songs to which I couldn't breathe life

Track Four

It's roughly 24 hours since my last post, I'm tired, happy, content, satisfied, all those positive myspace emotion thingies. Welcome, once again, to the Window.

Right now, my mind is working overtime. So many different thoughts are clogging up the flow, the producer on my psychological mixer is working frantically to keep up with the music that is keeping me in such a state. Why? What could possibly have me so deep in thought? Frankly, I barely have any idea myself. I suppose one recurring thought is that of certain types of friends. Friends who you think you might have, but are only in it to use you.
I have friends like this. They'll not talk to you, regardless of how close you may consider yourselves to be, unless you either talk first, or they need to ask you for something. Is this really a friend? Let me check the dictionary. "Friend: a person with whom one enjoys mutual affection and regard." Mutual. Mutual, you selfish pricks out there, mutual. You can't expect a friendship to be lasting if you only talk because you're needy. It's a waste. It takes two hands to clap, just like it takes two willing people for a friendship to work. I see it happen on a day to day basis, I have it happen to me, and since I know I used to be like that, I can't stand it.
Most of this above paragraph is nonsense, and for the immature attention seeking losers who're reading my blog so they can leave some smartass comment at the end, wake the hell up. It gets you no where in life. Read my blog, and just smile =]

Take it easy everyone

[Bonus Track] Lifeguard

It's a time when the world is quietest
All is laid to rest
It's too early for the sun to rise
Too late for it to set
I'll stand here on this silent hill
Watching every motion
The rise and fall of life, and still
Have eyes for your stormy ocean

The world could lay to waste
Time could stop and cry
For the time I spent for you
The time you're on my mind

Nothing else will matter
When the waters take you o'er
But I'll rescue you again
It's why I'm here, and nothing more
No life would be worth living
Without a saving heart
So for you I'll always be
Your ever present Lifeguard

The world could lay to waste
Time could stop and cry
For the time I spent for you
The time you're on my mind

The world could lay to waste
Time could stop and cry
But the day I'm not around
Is the day I've left to...

[The last word is the hardest to write. Always. Breathe, and it's gone.]

Solution - Hillsongs United

It is not a human right
To stare not fight
While broken nations dream
Open up our eyes, so blind
That we might find
The Mercy for the need

Singing, Hey now
Fill our hearts with your compassion
Hey now
As we hold to our confession
Yeah

It is not too far a cry
To much to try
To help the least of these
Politics will not decide
If we should rise
And be your hands and feet

Singing, Hey now
Fill our hearts with your compassion
Hey Now
As we hold to our confession

Woah-oh-oh,
God be the solution
Woah-oh-oh
We will be Your hands and be Your feet.
Yeah, yeah

Higher than a circumstance
Your promise stands
Your love for all to see
Higher than protest line and dollar signs
Your love is all we need

Only You can mend the broken heart
And cause the blind to see
Erase complete the sinners past
And set the captives free
Only You can take the widows cry
And cause her heart to sing
Be a Father to the fatherless
Our Savior and our King
We will be Your hands, we will be Your feet
We will run this race
On the darkest place, we will be Your light
We will be Your light

We will be Your hands , we will be Your feet
We will run this race for the least of these
In the darkest place, we will be your light
We will be your light
We'll sing

Woah-oh-oh,
God be the solution
Woah-oh-oh
We will be Your hands and be Your feet.

Woah-oh-oh,
God be the solution
Woah-oh-oh
We will be Your hands and be Your feet.
Yeah, yeah

We will run we will run
We will run with the solution [2x]

We will be Your hands we will be Your feet
We will run this race for the least of these
In the darkest place we will be Your light
We will be Your light
We sing

Track Three

"It is not a human right, to stare not fight while broken nations dream
Open up your eyes, so blind, that we might find the mercy for the need."

Welcome to the window. I want to cover two things tonight, and I'm going to try to do them at the same time, so if it seems all over the place, bear with me.
I'm sitting here in my chair, listening to one of my favourite songs, called "Solution", and yes, it's by a christian band called Hillsongs United. Now, for the very few of you who actually read my blog, please don't be stupid and flick off the receptive part of your brain as soon as you hear the word "christian". This song isn't a hymn, there's no organ, no heavenly choir and no big black preacher throwing in the occasional "God bless you, my brothers!". Back to the song though. The opening quote I've thrown in above are the opening lines of the song. If I hadn't mentioned before that it was a christian song, most of you would've been thinking: "Hey, that's very very true! Wow, that's a really deep thought!" Well, it is a deep thought, from the mind of a christian who is the same as you in every single way, only he has found God. By now, you're wondering what the hell I'm ranting about, so it's here that I'll identify the two issues I want to talk about. The first has to do with the quote. Yes, it's one hundred percent true. We turn a blind eye everyday to peoples' needs, wants and dreams. You don't even need to look as far as Africa or India. Hell, before you even try to think about them, think about those around you, your peers, friends, classmates. If you can see an opportunity to change something for the better, do it. Don't be the person who lets it slide because it'll be funny, or your friends suggest you should. Make a stand for Christ's sake, it's easy to conform, it's much harder to be different, to be unique, to be nice in a bad situation.
My second contention is to do with christianity. First off, I am a christian, I'll put my card on the table. Secondly, and be honest, how many of you thought from the start that the song above was a OneRepublic or Fray song, or some band like that? Come on, be honest. Well, how different is it to a song from the before mentioned bands? Christian music isn't only what you would sing in the chapel at school or assembly hall. I have friends who, upon the mention alone of a christian song or hearing anything remotely like it, will laugh, sigh, cover their ears, walk away, mumble: "This is some christian bullshit" or all of it. "Brainwashing" one bright spark called it. Well, if that's brainwashing, we're in some serious trouble. I challenge those of you who read my blog. Respond to this post, and ask me for the song. I'll email it to you, and you listen to it for yourselves. This isn't my ploy to get you all to join the "dark side" because we have cookies too, but to tell you all to lighten up a little, don't be so prejudiced. Remember, smile more =]

Peace out people.

Creation

To take away my dance
You take my feet with it
But I'll still live on

To take away my art
You take my hands with it
And still, I'll live on

But to take away my music
Is a crime I can't forgive
For you take my soul with it
And all my reasons to live

Never underestimate
The power of the chords
That ring from heart to heart
And wrench the hearts of all
Just sway to the harmony
The blessed, melting melody
Creation of a symphony
From within you. Within me

Track Two

So is it just me, or is Melbourne Central becoming more and more like Boxhill everyday? Hmm...
Welcome again to the Window boys and girls. Today is another day, a day like any other. It's one of those days where the plot is as if it's been taken out from a book. I hate days like these, and I'm sure there are others out there sharing my outtake. High five anyone?

I just realised that these blogs are hard to write. There's so much you could say; how shit the world is and that you want to cut your wrists about it, how much you want a girl but she doesn't know, why is everyone a conformist, how bad your life is, etc etc. Or you could try your hand at writing some depressing poetry that is "your way of expressing your inner turmoil". Mind you, some of the poems are really good, and some of the people who write them have good reason to. Then there are those people who think that a life with depression is the cool thing, and it'll pull them pity votes with the girls or guys. Well, it doesn't really. Instead, to people with half a brain, you look spoilt, bored and ungrateful for everything that you have. Get a hobby you losers, smile more =] This isn't my justification for my poems/songs, it's just an honest opinion, and how sick I am of these people who take it to be just some fad, a "in" thing. For those who write genuinely, and I know who you are, you probably feel the same too. Once again, high five?

Take it easy everyone.

Closure

If I disappeared tomorrow
Would you search for me today
I won't ask you to follow
Just simply fall on your knees and pray
Ask for my forgiveness from God
Because it's all that I'll want
Not an apology for wrongs
But my wings to fly away on

[The pen shakes. So does the hand.
Till another day. Another day]

Track One

Well Soph, you win. Hey, and welcome to the window.
This blog, may have emo moments (I hope not), it'll be interesting, boring, funny, stupid, whatever you want it to be. Don't judge it (like I tend to do) on who writes it, and the first impression that you may get, and we'll all be happy here =]

Take it easy people.