What I Write

I have a story of who I was, am and will be to tell
Odds are that it probably won't ever sell
Not to the public, no time and no interest there
No one's concerned with what I have to share
I'll write for me, and I'll write for this
The moments that hit me, and those that missed
Drop my family a line, those I love so much
And for those who've passed, now cold to the touch
Remember with a smile, the visions and images
Those with hope for more on their visages
It's a different world we live in, even though I'm still young
Many of us have seen enough for our soundtrack to be sung
So don't forget the words that are so softly spoken
Try to survive, don't ever become one of the broken
It's still the beginning, not the start of the end
Hopefully when we survive, there'll be time to heal and mend.

Track Thirty-One

Welcome to the Window.
Who would have ever thought that the simplest, and yet most heartfelt wish in a life could ever come from a rap song? Perspective is changing face.


Live In The Sky - T.I. Featuring Jamie Foxx

Life's ups and downs, they come and go
But when I die, I hope I live in the sky
All my folks who ain't alive, I hope they live in the sky
Pray to God when I die, that I live in the sky

It's true what goes around, comes back you know
So when I die I hope I live in the sky
All my folks who ain't survive, may they live in the sky
Tell God, I wanna fly, let me live in the sky

Fake Fiction

Going back there
For the final time
It's more surreal
Than before
Hard to imagine
Just yesterday
I cleaned my shoes
And set foot
In there for
The very first time
Now, now I'm back
Cue soundtrack.

Dream Big

We want the world
While the world doesn't want us
Not anymore, after what we've done
Isn't it obvious?

Track Nineteen

I noticed that this track was missing in the chronicles, so I'll just slip it in here. I think I was in a rather pissed off mood, so imagine this is all unhappy and filled with self-loathing.
Smile =]

Take it easy everyone.

Carpentry

Hold the chisel
In one hand
Push it into
The soft wood
Carve your name
Then mine too

Satirically Political, And Politically Satirical

It's nice when
Every so often
You find the title
Of a song, never
Really ever at all
At any stage
Any verse or line
Has anything to do
With the actual
Lyrics or purpose of
The song.

It's a cruelly brilliant
And brilliantly cruel
Way to screw with your mind

Blurring Sharpness

Bastard eyes, failing me
Leaving my mind lost
In a haze of misty pity
Neediest in desperate times
Day and night becoming one

Give Me

A picture in a picture
Not to be hung on the wall
Yet somewhere it can assure
That it's face is seen by all
How about a song then
In fact it may be best
Now write it for me, friend
Give it to her when I confess

Take You There - Sean Kingston

We can go to the tropics
Sipping our coladas
Shorty I could take you there

Or we can go to the slums
Where killers be hung
Shorty I could take you there

[Lighten up, it's good to not care sometimes. Shorty I could take you there...]

Remember This

To say that she waits patiently for him
Is a lie never to be spoken
Yet she'll live in a dream within
Where her heart can never be broken
The sun rises and falls, no fears
No wonder she never wants to be woken
The local myths are turmoil and tears
And pure happiness is just a token

F*ck You, To Be Polite

Judge, jury and executioner
You have a nice self-given name
Pity you can only do two of the three
Judge then execute
One day soon, in this past
It's coming soon, or maybe gone
All hell's going to break loose
You'll have nowhere to run
Joke, juvenile and erratic
Like your new name?

Fallen Man - Relient K

Because a judge of you
Is someone I could never be
It's why you should thank the Lord
That it is Him, and it's not me

Don't give up, it's not the end
There's hope for every fallen man
To pick themselves up when they think they can
Because with every passing second comes a second chance

The Difference Defined

They said this day would never come
And yet with the dawning of the sun
Will rise a hope, a symbol for all
Who plead for sanity to be restored
As titans crumble around us
Greatest of men reduced to dust
A miracle born from dying power
Heralds new strength in this darkest hour
Remember this day, young and old
Which rose with the dawning sun of gold
Two million marched to bear witness
The man who promised to make the difference

Make The Title Longer Than The Lyrics Because It Seems To Be Like The Thing To Do

Create a list
Of useless pastimes
And add these
Ridiculous lines

All That's Left

See how I'm reduced to this
This little part of nothing, tired
Waiting for the metaphorical glue
To fix me, another broken cliche

Suicide Medication

For a little while there used to be
A pill that was prescribed for little kamikaze me
I'd leap off a building, crush my head
Then my meds would kick in, bring me back from the dead
I'm not complaining here, but it's a bit of a pain
When you're trying to kill yourself in front of a train
All the effort that's taken, to leap right in front
Only to survive to see you're a minor speed bump
So now I'm stuck here, at the bottom of the sea
Trying to drown little kamikaze me
An anchor on one foot, lead weight on the other
Getting sick of the fish telling me not to bother

[It's a bit sadistically fun isn't it?]

Apathetic Excuse For A Lymerick

Not caring at all is the perfect way to live
Assistance would be the last thing you give
They'll whine and complain
That you're not the same
Just tell them to piss off, really

Don't Need A Ticket

If I were to take a trip
Down old memory lane
I'd stop by and sit
On the bench near my shame
I'd remember the times
All my faults and flaws
Caught up with my life
And showed me the cause
Then I'd head to the beach
Of complete remorse
Because then I could teach
You what to do when unsure
So take a trip down
This old memory street
Where litter lies around
And blows past our feet
I'll show you this life
We'll paint my town red
And when we've made enough strife
It's home time, to rest

My Chemical Romance

I'm hooked like a fish
On this drug of late
Consumes my mind
Like crack cocaine
The smallest of doses
Drives me insane
And although it'll kill me
I'll need it again

Delusionary

We'll build a city
All it needs is trust
Just a little pity
And freedom is a must
With these, our time
Will rise from these ashes
Like the smokey vine
That stings your eyelashes
So then, the tears
Filled with wasted remorse
Laden with fears
Cry till you're hoarse

Clinically Inane

Clever, little, special me
I learned how to count to three
One, knowing that hurt will come
Two, stuck on thoughts of you
Three, wait till you forget me
See, I can count to three

Last Minute

Before this day is done
And the moon's race begun
A last stanza I'll slip in
For this mind to rest within

A cradle gently swaying
No trees that whisper, ailing
Before this day is done
I'll tell the tale of none

Spiral

Just a pattern, maybe
And it's so pretty
So simple, the way
It goes 'round and 'round
Like a life that's safe and sound

I Didn't Say

Since when could I
Take some time
For a little taste
Of reality or illusion
Stuck in the middle
Is a better place
Because they won't ask
So no answer's needed

Short Term Memory Loss

Forgetting is easy
Once you don't care
It doesn't matter
So now you can't see me
Or remember anything there
It's no matter

Migraine

Hurtling through my head
No bullet could match
Poison's speed can't compare
Stupid headache

Keepsake

Settle down a little
Even if it takes a while
Even though we're separated by miles

Yeah, we'll count those crystals
Over again and again
Underneath a quiet sky

So someday, I'll set off
On a plane once more
Over the sea to see
No one but you, I hope

[Nine Nine Four]

Vulnerability

It's more like an instability
Built up from insecurity
Hampering my very ability
To recognise my own stupidity

Heartshot

You're not worth my time
Even if you needed saving
Hesitation would shackle me
Because I can't help you
I won't, not now, not ever

Chapter Eight

"Oh Kason, you're so wonderful!"
"Please, please, it was nothing, I'd do anything for you baby."
"Oh KASON!" Zahra held my face in her hands, the tender embrace filling the room with emotion. Then she slowly leaned in, eyes closed, and we kissed. My hand lay on the small of her back, holding her body close to mine, the other tangled in her beautiful hair. Our breaths came in unison, as the liplock became stronger, and more passionate. Every sensation in my body was filled with pure bliss, and then I fell off my bed.
I spat out the corner of my pillow cover from my mouth in disgust, and unraveled the bedside lamp cord from my fingers. Tender embrace my arse. I sat on the floor in a semi depressed state, wishing so ferverently that the dream had been a reality. The clock on the bedside table read three thirty-five a.m. Perfect. Just what I needed to start a school week.

It had been two days since I'd last seen or heard from Zahra. The weekend had been boring, yet somehow I hadn't managed to find time to spend with her. Not like I'm desperate to be in her company, don't get me wrong. Right?
Why do I bother.
I don't even convince myself.

Hallelujah

V1.
Anytime soon, watch this sun die
It'll be our moment to cry
But don't waste your tears yet
We haven't reached the last set
There's more to come, can you see
And hidden in that forbidding sea
Hope is there, deep inside
So lift your hands, sway side to side
And sing

Chorus.
Hallelujah
Singing, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
All is gone, but we've got this song
Just keep singing strong
Hallelujah

V2.
Simple wish was what it used to be
Now time has carved it into me
I held so tightly onto that final straw
Hoping it might conceal more
But now you know there's nothing left
So shout out till your heart goes deaf
Raise a voice, raise it with pride
Lift your hands, sway side to side
And sing

Chorus.
Hallelujah
Singing, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
All is gone, but we've got this song
Just keep singing strong
Hallelujah

We'll sing, hallelujah
We'll sing, hallelujah

Press Pause

Finding the right words
I'll have to say, so soon
Give me no choice
Haven't you known?
This will hurt us both

Time's running out
On us, on you, on me

Lie? I could, I should, I won't
Is this what I want?
Vaguely no, in reality yes
Even if you hate me

[I have to do this. Or you may hate me more.]

Jealousy

Owning something like yours
Is close to perfection
Even if the world disagrees
And all I can think of
Is how much I want it
Maybe I won't, but one day
I can give it. To you? Who knows

Sort Of

If I was possibly indecisive
Maybe I could have a chance
To change my more or less
Fluctuating moral-less
Life.

Track Thirty

"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."

Catcher In The Rye - J. D. Salinger


Welcome to the Window, in a new year, and a new perspective!
No, I lie, it's pretty much the same, all cynicism, sarcasm, witty (or shitty) humour, obscure points of view, and other such items of uninteresting nature. It doesn't really feel like a new year, more like the beginning of the end. All drama and corniness aside, when you face reality, or when I do, this is what I see. We may be picking up speed, but things are coming to a grinding halt sooner than I need it to be.

Moving on. This may be the only blog/journal type statement that I make, but I'm so happy I have to share my jubilation with all two and a half of my readers. Scrubs is back! That's it.

Let's have a reality check. A wise man (all seriousness, I highly respect this person's opinion, and he gives what may be the most substantially beneficial advice you'll need to hear, even if it hurts like hell at the time.) this holiday gave me a little example of how a river or gutter can represent life. Both of these things flow in one direction, correct? If they display our pathway in life, we should go with the current, and eventually it leads to the sea, which can be a metaphor for all the opportunities in life for us. However, there are always those little bits of rubbish or "scumbags" as he eloquently described them, which get caught and stuck on the sides of the gutter or river. These "scumbags" never reach the ultimate destination, and in our reality, they never fulfill their full potential in life, because of the determination to be so different and open in the rejection of the flow.

Some of you, or, as I don't really have that many readers, one or two of you may be wondering what I'm rambling on about. Well, I'll cut to the chase. We all have a choice. To go on and achieve our best (I sound like my parents...) or to be obstinate with our rebellion (someone help me I really sound like my parents). I hate hearing this shit. Really, all blatant honesty, I loath it. The worst part is that it's true, and God knows we hate the truth sometimes.

Don't live to regret stupid mistakes in life. It's a new year, and it's a new opportunity to make some good. Finally. Don't screw up. Don't be like me. Put your head down, push on, and smile =]

Take it easy everyone.

No Room Left

My shortcomings are showing
Illicit wrongs have ruined
Right now though, I'm knowing
All about this tunnel I'm in
Can't slip, stumble, trip, fumble
Leave no margin for an error
Establish my place here, I'm going to need this.

One Down

There are a few left
I can survive this
Push on, perservere
Self control, that's the key
How many weeks in a year?
One less, that's all I know

Strum

Little tune for me
Lullaby for her
Lilt away his fear
Lies play in my ear

Going Home

Am I really?
Or have I found
My place to stay
Where I'm loved
Maybe
They won't miss me
Anywhere I'm not

In The Rye

If you were in a field
By a cliff, in this field
And there was no one
But me around, with you
I'd stay by the edge
To catch you if you slipped
If a body catch a body
Comin' through the rye
Damn pretty tune.

Lyrical Confusion

I'm begging you
I'm begging you
I'm begging you
To be my mistake

Wait, that's wrong
It should be
Escape

So why do I not
Want to correct
This incorrection?

Sounds nicer, it does
Makes me feel
Like I have
Something
Special

Infatuation

Try do this for me
Move a little to the right
Up just a bit, a bit more
There, now I can see
I'm stuck in a plight
Because it's you I adore

Corny little word, it is
It sounds nice but
When said just so
Now I'm not sure if
I want to escape this rut
Should I stay, should I go?

[Can I?]

Signals

V1.
There's a story of a lighthouse
It stands on that quiet shore
Waiting for the sign from a ship

A ship that sails 'round and 'round
Looking for direction sure
To find the lighthouse in darkness thick

Bridge.
Keep searching, waiting, watching
Soon the anchor'll fall
The beach is waiting, so is the tide
To hear your radio call

V2.
The ship slowly drifted in the bay
Some bay, it's fallen half away
Probably because no ship'll ever stay

Tied down to the dock so frail
Hopefully it won't set sail
To somewhere unreachable by mail

Bridge.
Keep searching, waiting, watching
Soon the anchor'll rise
The beach is waiting, so am I
To see you float away upon the tide

Chorus.
Here it comes now, just another wave
Pulling us further from our lives
On this ship, there's someone you can't save
Better hope this ship never dives
Dives below, deep down below
The dark blue waits, just like a lighthouse
All it wants is the signal to show
Just, like, that lighthouse

Bridge 2.
We're gonna go crashing waves
Split the sea dead in half
Make the sunrise appear in the depths
And hope at the same time
The lighthouse can see us
'Cause we just might go too deep
Too far under to be heard

Chorus.
Here it comes now, just another wave
Pulling us further from our lives
On this ship, there's someone you can't save
Better hope this ship will survive
Survive the below, deep down below
The dark blue waits, just like a lighthouse
All it wants is the signal to show
Just, like, that lighthouse