A Name's Worth

Just a little something to pass the time
And break away from depressing lines
Needless to say, she's special in
Every single way you can imagine

Track Thirty-Six

Welcome to the Window.

I hate heartbreak. Every single form of it. You know why? Because it really holds true to its name. Break. When you break something, it doesn't matter how hard you can try to fix it, there are always going to be the cracks for all to see. Healing does happen, and only with time. I heard in a song that you cannot break the broken, and quite honestly, I'd have to agree. You can't break them, but you sure as hell can crush them. It's easier too, because the original resistance that existed is simply not there.

There's that feeling where the lump rises in your throat, and your arms and legs go weak. You clench your teeth, to try stay strong, to resist that overwhelming sense of defeat. You crumble from the inside, a shell with a dusty inside that's so fragile it'll take the smallest of knocks to crack it. Then you bite your lip, you can't scream, shout, sob, because people will know something's wrong. Go on, bite it till there's blood. Eyes welling up with tears you swore you'd never let fall again, constantly beating against the dams of your eyes. Blink to stem the flow, try it. It might just work if you concentrate really hard. Clench your fists, feel them shake with the effort that just doesn't seem worth it.

Then.

Break.

I can't keep smiling for too long, so smile for me.

=]

Cliches Are All I Have Left

No once to catch
Me when I collapse
This rain, it's just
Beating me down
Weighing me down
Hear the sound

As I fall beneath
The burden of all
Of all, of all, of all
Then you call
And your voice
Helps me breathe

Then pulls me
Out of the depths
From underneath
The wreckage
But I'm broken in your arms
And you break me again

So when I'm broken
Breaking, crumbling
Blown away in the wind
Will you remember?

Cover

Over me, more ways than one
Shielding me from the setting sun
Concealing all that comes undone
Masking that which wishes to run
I hide within this, darkest mist
Eyes empty of tears I've missed
Rage clenched tightly in my fist
Urge to break, feel hopeless bliss
A sleeve to hide, the lowest pride
From one, grew twelve more, I lied
The front, back, on each and every side
Two inches long, a hairsbreadth wide
And when I've aged beyond my years
Escaped all of my impending fears
I'll cry my cries upon deaf ears
Praying, hoping someone hears
I see you, you can't see me
I'll try save you, while you ache to be free
You want this help, yet cut me so deeply
This is why I find comfort in shadows, see?

[Blackness all around, all around, till nothing remains]

Impossibility

No, I don't sleep till three in the morning
Or four, five, six when the dawn's breaking
Tell me, is it normal, to stay awake
Heavy in though and mind of nothing but
Images and memories and integrities
Numberless possibilities and lies to lead
Glowing in the darkness so calming

Thousands, they said, thousands of reasons
Only one really matches

Let me imagine it for a little while
In this semi-catatonic state
Vapour of an existence I'll
Evade the truth as long as it can wait

From it all, I don't want to live
Or die, either way it's a chance to give
Rise to a sleep that's permanently affective

Past And Present Scars

Whether they're from a day
Or a month, a year ago
Reality is, that the price to pay
Slowly catches up, you know
Even when they're so faint

Why? Oh I don't really understand
It's just a simple scratch to take
That reminds me, when it can
How to not make the same mistake

Everyone sees every one
And every one feels like hell
Can't they just fade in the sun
Heal with time, that only tells

Could you give me a reason
Undermine my insanity
To save myself?

Rising

There's something deep
Inside, within me, swelling
Growing whilst I sleep
This darkness quelling
Living, breathing thoughts
I once knew and dreamt
Of happiness, all sorts
Now scattered, unkempt

Track Thirty-Five

Welcome to the Window.

As always, it's been a long, long time since I last made a Track, but to be completely honest, I just couldn't be bothered. There's so much happening, so many issues clogging my mind that it's literally impossible to find the time to sit down and write something like this. Well, now it's holidays, and I've sort of run out of excuses.

I'm not saying I've also come to the end of my issues. Far from it. On the contrary, my nice little irritations just keep getting bigger and bigger, but at least I'm staying positive! Well, outside anyway.

I don't want to keep doing this all the time. By this, I mean feeling like I have to wait to get hurt. It's along the lines of sitting on the train tracks watching a train coming towards you at a hell of a speed. I can hear it, I can feel the tremors rumbling through the tracks, I can see the blinding headlights telling me to move, and yet I just can't. A smart boy, that's what I am.

Give me a reason to justify
All these different reasons burning
I just want this pain to nullify
Disappear like a passion yearning

Take it easy everyone, and keep smiling =] Even if it looks like there's no way out.

Crystal Moment

Everything's so clear
Oh everything, every
Single damn thing
Refracted in the
Gleaming starlight

Disassociation

"So fucked up, that's what you are
Who does that sort of thing?
I don't want to know someone
Like this, with such pretty patterns
I never saw them from afar
But now I'm closer, does it sting?
Each and every single one
All over, I can see them scatter
So fucked up, that's what you are"

Sunburn

You're beautiful
In everything
That you do
You give me the
Light I need
To live, thrive
And yet no matter
I still burn deeper
Beyond recognition
Because of you
Paradox

I Hate This

Use me because it's fun
This distraction
You forget
In a fraction
Of a heartbeat
I want to forget
In a fraction
Of that same
Heartbeat
Every memory
Of you

Never Mind, Never Mine

She slips away from me
Again and again
Vanishing into the sea
Ever crashing

My vice she has become
Even though she'll be the death of me

Fumbling with confusion
Rocked from head to toe, if
Only she wasn't the illusion
My mind longed for

Tonight, she forgets once more
How much, just how much
I truly, stupidly, cut to the core
Save me from this

This Night Is Ours

Built from nothing at all
A pile of mere imagination
Crafted with blood, sweat and tears
Four years, enduring all
Ridicule, hatred, segregation
Developing into grudging
Respect, shock, awe
This night, we came
We saw, the lights flashed
We conquered

Collect And Connive

From this sheath
Draw that which you
Took from him
And just drive it
To the hilt into
My back

Who Belongs

You, in the white shirt
Stand over there where
We can see you in your
Stupidity of naivety
Mock that which you
Worked so hard to
Build whilst trapped
Within a life that
Will never appreciate
All you do

Fool To Think

Understatement of a lifetime
Justification no other will hear
And
That's it

Bruise

Black, with a tinge of blue
A little shade of sadness
Masking the hue
Of the original gladness
We'll find comfort from this

Crime For Fun

Steal this
Break it, quick
Vandal is my name
The thrill of it all
Hear the outrage
Whine of sirens
Screaming my name
It's applause, it is

Born In Sunshine

Light of a shadow
Creeping through the
Dark and dim, hallowed
In stories to tell
Kissed by the rays
Beaming down so bright
From the vast arrays
Of stars this night

Practice Made Prejudice

It's drilled into the mindset
Of a twisted insanity
Adjudicated by one who
Blatantly recreated a truth
Lost, souless, vile,
Slippery tongued tenacity

West Is The New East

In the times where right
Is the new wrong
And the safety light
Will never belong
Amongst the darkest hours
These streets so cold
Cracked homes of ours
Happiness sold
North turned south
And this world is turning
Slowly, slowly
Away from You

Make It Easy

Just someone to love me too
Was all I wanted her to be
But she never ever knew
How or why she hurt me
And with each cut I bleed
From, another escape route
It's become more than a need
Still, these scars suit
Me down to the ground
Because they remind
Every day, and without a sound
Make it easy to rewind

In It All

I'll walk away from this
With nothing but an
Emptiness, it's bliss
Once you push past
The fact you're not missed

Art Of Breaking

As quietly as you can
Without them hearing you
Shout in a voice of static
That cascades waves of noiseless
Mishaps and
The loudest crack, the split-two
Of a broken heart in an attic
Above the bliss, belonging to the voiceless

Reasons

You want reasons
Why my restless mind steals my sleep away
Why these dark thoughts keep me this way
Trapped inside a cage built to house the insane
Why my arm's carved in more ways than one
Why I try convince myself that the end hasn't come
And there's nowhere I can run
You really want the reasons?

The Slam

Turn over the tables
In a rage so blind
You'll cut all the cables
Linked to you from behind
Holding you back
From that ledge so close
Yeah, I know you want to jump
I dare you
This is it, the decision to make
This is the slam

Anthem For The Lost

Good for a distraction
Forgotten in a second's fraction
No one remembers the lost

Hold on till you can walk alone
Once you're steady and strong
Push away from brought you along
Everyone forgets the lost

He tries so hard to be everything
She needs, only to be second to nothing
Nothing's name is someone else
And he's placed back on the shelf
He joined the lost

Graffitification

Take this can
Make my presence known
You'll see me everwhere
You go, I'm watching you
Through this paint
On the walls and the billboards
Floating high above
Or down below it all
I'll make sure
You see me

Vague In Clarity

Can hear the words
They aren't flowing
Like they should be
Can feel this melody
It isn't flowing
The way it could be
Can see this image
That's not flowing
How it would be
Then it all makes sense
Yeah, makes sense now

Helpless

A spark of pretences
Lighting up your lies
Consuming my sense
What my life relies
On

Mine

They're all objects of affection
Shining in the light of
You, my very own affliction
All I ever think of
Mine

Bullets

Hit one
She lied
To you
Hit two
She promised to
Never again
Hit three
When you can't find
It in you to trust
Hit four
The one that kills you

False Pretext

Who do I think I am
That I could do this to myself
Hate myself to the degree
That indifference has become
The third most used mask
In my entourage of faces
Preceded by happy and helpless
But who cares anyway
It's funny, right?

Hoarse

Scream till you're
Cry till you're
Shout till you're
Laugh till you're
Sing till you're

Till you can't anymore

Cry In A Tune

When a quaver becomes your tears
And the forte the swell of hate
That's building with the crescendo
Of the glissando rippling through your heart
Accents of aggression, legato fears
Subtly slinking through the sheets
With a broken arpeggio that echoes
Every shattered chord you made

You're left with this song