It's the start of a new month, the end of a week, the middle of distress and I'm still not sure where I am.
Welcome to the Window. What do you call it when you watch someone else in your life always steal the limelight, always be one step better than you, and you can't help but resent them slightly for it? Could it be jealousy? Yep, sounds a lot like jealousy. There's always going to be a time or instance, where you'll try your hardest to live up to the expectations and levels that you know and believe will be significant to someone you care for, and then another person will coast through without even trying, and impress to no ends. Where does it really leave all the efforts you made? It's at this point, where different tips and advice are all handed out from left right and centre, some telling you to keep trying, and those urging you to move on and try something else. What to do? Let's see, you may as well give up trying, it's been done, and better than you could ever dream of achieving. As for moving on and trying something else, what if this was the culmination of all you ever wanted? Are you really just going to move on? I don't think so. You wouldn't settle for anything less than you know is your true destiny. It's at this stage that I find myself. I'm at a fork in the road, only thing is they both lead me to nowhere. Of course, I could sit and wallow in my self pity, but I'd rather not.
To us, when we see others being jealous of someone else, we sometimes tend to laugh at them, or maybe sympathise. Understand, that when you know that another person is better than you and going for the same goal, it's impossible to not feel even the slightest hint of jealousy. What sparks that jealousy even more is if they're not heading towards the same trophy that you are, but the prize simply seems to land in their laps. Here, the terminology "burning with jealousy" really rings true. Painfully so.
When you're jealous, it hurts you. More than you could imagine to begin with. Frustrating isn't it? Literally an unfixable situation. Yes, you can say to yourself: "At least I can do this!" but let's be honest, will "this" really get you anywhere? Sure, it might, but will it get you where you want to be?
Only thing left to do is grit your teeth, bear the pain, and smile =]
Take it easy everyone.
Studio B
- Mark
- When you need to wake up in the morning, and set the right mood for the day, when you need to escape from the overwhelming everything of life. What do you turn to? How do you describe your core without speaking aloud, without having to talk to someone about it? This is how. Music. Lyrics. Poetry. Do you feel it? Do you? It's here, it's everywhere, locked within you, within the most tone deaf of us. It's begging to be released, become unleashed in a tearing chord, a crying melody, soulful harmony, dying lyric. You feel it yet? It's concealed here, within every word that I write. This is my release. I want you to see it, to feel it with me. This pure expression of every tangible and imaginable emotion known and unknown to man. To me. Welcome to The Window.