Believe Me

Stand up, take a walk
A long walk with me tonight
We'll see the world through eyes
Eyes so innocent tonight

We'll see what there is to see
How the world lies sleepy
Sleepy tonight
Through eyes so innocent tonight

Is what you saw tonight
What you believed was true
This world was capable of?
Of course not, you never did

Chapter Four

"Welcome to the most beautiful street in the whole country."
As the feeble words left my mouth, my mind didn't completely register what exactly I was saying. When it did however, a few seconds later, I mentally kicked myself in the shins. Welcome to the most beautiful street? You idiot boy, you deserve to be slapped! Silence followed, and I felt my embarrassment rising to my cheeks. I turned to leave, when a voice stopped me dead, saying, "Yes, it's breathtaking isn't it?" Heartbeat failing, failing, beeeeeep.
Her voice was so quiet, so sweet, it's hard to describe it without getting ridiculously cliche. I faltered for a few seconds, and stumbled my feet around to face her. When I looked up into her face, I found myself staring into those mesmerising hazel eyes from the morning. Staring, staring, staring for too long it felt, and yet not long enough. Finally I managed to strangle a few words from my dry throat. "I sometimes lose track of time just staring into the same sunset." Great, once again, so smooth aren't we, Mr Suave? "Don't blame you, I've never seen the sun in such a way before." came the reply.
"I haven't seen you before, are you new around here?" I asked, suddenly realising the obvious.
"Yep, just moved to this street two days ago, and I'm glad I did." So was I. The small conversation fell quiet, as we both turned back to the sunset, which was almost already over. A few seconds later, the sun disappeared behind the hill, and the street was suddenly dark and colder. "Well, I better get going." and with that, she walked towards the house opposite mine. I quietly thanked God for His perfect placement, then made my way back over to Troy, who was doubled up with laughter, gasping and wheezing at my dismal failure. "Wow, that was so sad, I should have recorded it and put it up on youtube!"
"Oh very funny Troy." I punched him lightly on the arm. "I'm going home, catch you in the morning bro." I walked into my driveway and through the doors of my house, the hazel eyes firmly embedded in the front of my memory.

The next day, as Troy and I arrived at school, there was a commotion happening in the main quadrangle. We pushed ourselves through the surrounding crowd, only to see the girl from yesterday sitting on the ground, hands covering her face, while two other girls were pointing at her yelling insults. In the space of a second, I was on on the ground next to her, put a hand on her shoulder and told the other two girls in a rather impolite manner to piss off, which they did after throwing me a dirty look. Troy quickly dispersed the crowd, while I helped up the fallen girl. "What was that all about?" I asked her as she clambered to her feet.
"It was nothing, don't worry about it, they just thought I'd stolen something from them." Stolen something? Bit of a steep accusation wasn't it?
"You sure you'll be ok? Do you want me to - "
"I said I'm FINE!" she snapped at me, promptly pushing me away then storming off with her books. I must have been staring after her in such a bemused manner before Troy interrupted my reverie by clobbering me over the back of the head with his heavy maths book. "Snap out of it Kase, let's get to class." Casting a final look at her retreating back, I headed towards my English classroom. What a way to start the day.

Somewhere

In broken cities where
The streets are lined with glass
The streets are lined with glass
In broken cities fair

In broken cities cold
Children are left to die
Children are left to die
In broken cities sold

In broken cities here
We fight for every breath
We fight for every breath
In broken cities fear

Where'd You Go [Revised]

Chorus.
Where'd you go
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone

V1.
I struggle to find the right words for this
How do I tell someone just how much that I miss
The every little thing, that they did or said
That made me feel like I had the fairytale from books I read
Believe me, I never thought I could push you away
For trying so hard to impress you with the words I could say
The person that I could fake, could never replace
What you gave to this mistake, this one you erased
I find myself trying to stay by the phone
Hoping for a call in the times I feel so alone
But I feel like an idiot, hoping and praying
For something that'll never happen, not in this life that I'm staying

Bridge.
So, I want you to know, I'm a little broken up
Being stuck here waiting, at times debating
Asking you if you've forgiven me, or simply forgotten
But either way, it's too late now, and I'm singing

Chorus.
Where'd you go
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone

V2.
You know, this person I used to be
Used to fake my way to gains just for me
Used to change who I was, just to get some attention
Not once thinking I'd left with nothing but a confession
Of my faults and my flaws, every single lost cause
Stuttering and mumbling excuses to mocking applause
Trying to pick it back up, then the final straw fell
Now you've left and I'm here, nothing more left to tell

Bridge.
So, I want you to know, I'm a little broken up
Being stuck here waiting, at times debating
Asking you if you've forgiven me, or simply forgotten
But either way, it's too late now, and I'm singing

Chorus.
Where'd you go
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone

Track Twenty-six

"These hammers and strings
Have been following me around"

Jack's Mannequin

Welcome to the Window. It's been a long time since I last added a track to this compilation, so I thought I'd better resume.
Letting go is always easier said than done. For some, it's simply a matter of dumping that girl or boy they've been going out and hooked up with too many times. For others, it's leaving behind something that's not meant to be lost. I sometimes too easily say to people who've just lost a friendship that they should "learn from it, let it make you stronger, and you have better friends around anyway". When it came to me though, I found myself thinking, "Ah yes, right, I'm about as clueless and helpless as a... a... thing that's very clueless and helpless."
There's only so long you can really sit around in pools of regret and pity, but let's face it, the faster you get out the better right? Perhaps wrong, these pools get quite comfy.
So, in short, all I wanted to say was make sure you can walk the walk, and not just talk the talk, and yes, you can take it from me, because I do that all the time. Or not.

Smile =] and take it easy

Begin To Finish

Five.
Hopefully, one day
You'll forgive me for
Everything I caused
To go wrong for you

Six.
One day, you'll speak again
To me, the words that were
The words that said it all
Making my day brighter
Than these dry, dying thoughts

Seven.
Meanwhile, while I fake the smile
That everyone longs to see,
Believe I don't hide inside
It's a quiet hill with you
Words rarely spoken twixt us
Without you though, the quiet kills

Eight.
I never thought that my efforts
Could open up a part of you
Which would let me into your life
And was I right? So very right
The doors to you were closed for me
While others entered seamlessly
Left outside, knowing how I failed

Cue Music.
Koishikute

Slip Away

Scrawled on a scrap a paper
Sliver of a whispered secret
Smokey as haze, the tear's vapour
Sighing with the weight of a heartbeat
Step into the sky, words be your stairs
Swirling higher, higher till clouds
Stain my sight, hiding disrepair
Still walking onwards, in silence so loud

As every moment creates a life
Another passes on, clinging desperately
Angst fighting its way slowly through strife
Awash with thoughts only you knew could be
At the peak of realisation is reached
Acidic memories melt away every sorrow
Abused, beaten, till the doors are breached
Again you fall, awaking in yesterday's tomorrow

Run Away

Could I please
Just flee this day
Escape this coming night
Look in my eyes
My heart's on it's knees
Waiting for you to say
I can just run from sight
I'll run as the crow flies
Straight to nowhere
Where I began
Could I please
Just run away

Fade To Grey

Willing everything to crumble
Heavy thoughts rising tonight
In fear, and shame I fumble
This very life I live, I'll fight
Even as I fade to gray

Bringing hope, possibility
Leave despair at the door
Another rise in ability
Could it be, I can be more?
Knowing this, I fade to gray

Chapter Three

The day passed quicker than I anticipated, all the classes seeming like a blur. Although I had crumpled it up and thrown it into my bag, my mind kept refreshing the image, constantly bringing the face up with the fleeting snapshot my eyes had registered of the girl in the hallway. Why had I drawn her? What was going wrong with me?

School had ended, and as Troy and I walked towards the street where our houses lived side by side, I was still thinking about the picture, head bowed in concentration, rotating it over and over as Troy babbled on about "this babe who was so totally digging him", and then entered an extravagant descriptive rant on her appearance. Same old Troy, same old interests.

Our street was one of the most fortunate and beautiful in the district. Why, you ask? Well, firstly, it was lined with large maple trees which, now in autumn, turned the street into a living sea of golden red. Then there was the park at the end of the street, with a large grassy hill overlooking the rows of houses. In the daytime, especially during summer, the hill was washed with sunlight, creating the perfect picnic spot. Sunset was the most spectacular, for the sun falls behind the hill, making it the most breathtaking place to both see from afar and be. However, not many of the street's residents knew of this hidden treasure, with most of them too busy with their careers and studies. Typical, never pay attention to the finer details which create the surviving happiness in a being.

Turning the corner into our street, Troy suddenly stopped walking and talking. At first I didn't notice, until the quietness of my own footsteps registered in my mind. I looked up and behind me to ask him why he'd stopped. Instead of a verbal response, he simply lifted his hand and pointed to the far end of the street, to a figure with long amber hair, flowing in the soft wind. The figure was facing the hill, and in that instant, the sun began to set behind the hill, casting brilliant rays across the street, and illuminating the figure in front of me. It was an image I still carry with me in my minds eye to this day.

I turned back to Troy, only to my surprise he was right next to me, staring as well. "It's that girl!" he said in hushed tones, almost fearful of ruining the moment.
"So what?" I growled, knowing very well what he was hinting. Yet again though, in the place of saying something, he took a physical approach, and began to quickly shove me in the girl's direction. Loudly protesting, I was steadily herded towards her, desperately trying to escape Troy's long reach. Before long, we reached a point a few metres behind the girl, and with a final heave, Troy sent me stumbling, almost crashing into her. Waving his arms at the girl in shooing motions, I knew he was telling me to talk to her. I was already to close to just sheepishly leave, so summoning up my courage, I took a deep breath and said...

Drums Me

Kick the solid bass in
Just one more time
Strike that snare, grin
As beat meets rhyme
High-hat keep within
My set limits of time
Let it flow, this din
Son of music's crime
Build up steady, now bring
Toms, of thunder, remind
Now cymbals, begin
Loudest crash, softest ride
Moving mountains within
Rolling in fullest pride
Kick the bass in
Just one more time

Offset

Come with me
From time to time, there seems to be never enough
White noise to block out the thousand sounds
Calling out to me, constantly weakening my bluff
Till all comes crashing down, yet again, all around
Sit here with me and watch the scene unfold
Everything echoing a thousand times louder
When the single tear falls as you break cold
Your emptiness reveals itself in power
Frequencies lower than the deepest valleys
Higher than all imaginable heights, they bleed
Into your mind-frame, twisting away at the debris
And as it all blends together, one lonely silent plea
I'm losing hope as the world turns with my life in its hands
Torn one way by this, another by that, yet still with you
Watching you slowly break me, it was never part of my plans
But it happens anyway, and now you won't relent, it's true
I should never have tried to bleed it out to or for you
Mistaken I was, and maybe still am, for trying to save
What I was with you, and hopefully forgive too
These cuts and bruises, my scars of this wreckage I braved
Give me a reason to change, and maybe I'll try it
Every little thing has failed so far, I won't deny it
So if this is the cure for me, to break this pain so quiet
Then the consequences I'll face, even if it tears me to bits
Perhaps you'll see, that nothing could ever break me like you
As this ruined earth turns each day, bringing troubles new
Like before, yes, when you break I'll take the blame
And your hollow tears, not fallen for me, will be my pain

[I'm losing hope]

When The Wind Blows

Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree top
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall
And down will come baby, cradle and all

Rock-a-bye baby, listen to me
I've kept this secret, so carefully
When my heart breaks, this secret will stay
And I'll stay by your side, till break of day

Rock-a-bye baby, it's quiet now
Your tears have mingled, with mine on the ground
Hand in your hand, walking so slow
We'll cross into sunrise, hopes left below

Time With You

Praying for the weather
Always to shine for us
Reviving time together
Knowing it's the trust

When we lie there quietly
In the sun or the shade
Time flies too fast, it fights me
Hiding away the hours we made

Yesterday was a month ago
Only twenty-four hours or so
Under the sun. Wait till tomorrow

Closer You Are

I thought that
Every inch closer
Was every mile less
Between us
Another minute
To hold you

Unknown to me
Was that the closer
You were, it made it
All the more harder
To see you
With failing eyes

But with these
These failing eyes
I watched you leave
Disappear into the dark
And with these
These failing eyes

I Will Follow You Into The Dark

*Inspired by the song*

Autumn

The leaves bleed red
Every second getting nearer
To the day of the fall

It's a beautiful day to forget
Although in memory it's clearer
This day to lose it all

In May I wrote this set
Of words she'll never hear
That month of the fall

Gotcha

There's never anything quite like
Rhyming with a cunning spike
Instant shock, as words ignite
Craving minds and thoughts alike
Kissed from lips of cheek and spite
Embossed by wit as black as night
Running through a world of plight
Yet still so loved, both wrong and right

The Root

This is not just another simple tale
Heaped with words, meaningless, devoid of soul
Every letter printed in this entails
Reflections of thought, both the new and old
Earnest, each cast lovingly from the mind's mould

Slowly crafted for hours of endless night
Heavy with the day's countless beads of thought
At long last, this phrase stands ready for flight
Leaving the mind, every bead firmly caught
Lest it slip, and never reach the paper port

Now traversing through the nervous highway
Entwined with stress, joys and wordless feelings
Veering gently to the fingertips bay
Etches its sketch upon the skin ceiling
Relaying the message for the pen's revealing

Begin at last! This story of a Life
Encapsulated with such hope and strife

As bleeding ink makes contact with the pad
New worlds arise and fall in seconds mere
Of nature, life and hate this author glad
To release into words, his every fear
Haltingly, heavily, smooth and lightly
Ever changing syllables, for quietly
Reasons to confess often come nightly

Slipping through the silent static swiftly
To try and touch the tip of time and trust
Over all obstacles of obliquely
Ridged wretched rhythms reddening with rust
Yielding yesterday's hope-yearning youth

Line by line, stroke by stroke the pen will fall
In time with music conducting the hand
Knitting brokenness with ink drawn from all
Eternal dreams, weaved from a crumbling land

My story never will have a brother
In similarities or views akin
Not a simple tale of just another
Ergo my story ends here, so long. Fin.

[There Shall Never Be Another Story Like Mine]

Chapter Two

First impression isn't really the best way to describe what I received from her. First indentation is more like it. She ran around the corner into me so fast that she left her elbow mark in my chin. As I helped her pick up her books, which were scattered far and wide from our collision, she kept apologising profusely.

"I'm so sorry, I really am, it's just that I have to get to maths right now, and I've been late every single class! Sorry sorry sorry!"

Then, before I knew it, she was gone again, running down the corridor at ten to the dozen. It all happened within the space of ten seconds, and all I remembered was a whirl of amber coloured hair and a pair of large hazel eyes. Nothing really to grab my attention, after all going to a co-ed school has it's fair share of girls and a pair of pretty eyes isn't uncommon.

"Kason! Hurry up man, or else you'll be late to class!" My best friend Troy walked up to me and nudged me with his elbow. "So, you going to tell me who she was? Eh? Eh?"
"Yeah, I'll tell you when I find out for myself," I said with a chuckle, "We didn't exactly talk much, as you might've seen."
"Looked good enough time for me, in that short space of time I would've gotten her number just like that!" he said, snapping his fingers to accentuate his point. All I did was laugh along with him as we walked to our first period of the day, maths. I hate maths, plain and simple. As we stepped into our classroom I was already dreading the lesson to come. Anyone up for a nice big helping of trigonometry? No? Didn't really think so.
As usual, Troy and I took the seats to the far left, next to the window which overlooked the school car park. A few times, when the teacher had left temporarily, we would grab all our books, climb out the window and skip the rest of the school day. This became a regular little habit until we got caught. Big time. By our parents.
"Trigonometry!" began Mr Lester, "This is a perilous journey, not for the faint of heart! I trust you are all well equipped, with your pencils of power! Your erasers of elegance! And finally, your -"
"- Minds of magic." the whole class monotonously recited. As you can see, we're a happy bunch in Mr Lester's excel maths class. He began writing on the board, with a few students scribbling madly on their pads to take down every single note. Most of the others, like Troy, read and tried to decipher his scrawl, while one student, a.k.a yours truly began to draw in his maths book. Which, for your reference, didn't have a single maths note in it, but a whole heap of little sketches and the likes. Maths notes were crumpled loose leaf sheets of paper genius given to me by my tutor, a brilliant uni student who came up with foolproof ways of learning maths.
I started to draw, except this time, I began drawing a face. That was odd, I only drew cars and weird random monsters, but this morning seemed different. The face began to take shape, a graceful jawline, small rounded ears and long flowing hair. Then came the features. A set of heart shaped lips, elegant nose, and finally, the large, innocent eyes. As I finished the final details of shading, it occurred to me what I had just drawn. It was a portrait of the girl who had bumped into me before class. This was sufficient evidence to scare me, the thought "Am I a stalker or something?" running through my mind. Tearing out the page, I scrunched it up and threw it into my bag, deciding to pretend it hadn't happened.
Little did I know that the picture I had drawn held the key to the doors of my destiny in the coming year.

Chapter One

When we sat on this quiet hill, I promised you everything that came into my mind. Love, hope, a family, safety, wealth, I weaved every word till it looked like a fabric so tangible. We were young, oh so young weren't we? When you cried, it shattered my every thought, spurred my protectiveness of you, ready to fight anyone and everyone you wanted me to. You were everything to me weren't you? Do you remember the time, when we came up here on that hot summer day after school, and simply sat, held hands and watched the sunset? It was the fifth day after you found out the news. The damn news that made you cry so much, and shocked me speechless. I guess it was bound to happen at some point in time though. I missed you then, and I miss you now. Someday though, someday this hill won't be so quiet and lonely. It will be ours again, and we can watch the sunset... just one more time.

The young man took a final, fleeting glance at the setting sun. A shadow of desperation leaped into his eyes, pleading for something only he knew was missing. With a jagged sigh, he placed his hands in his pockets and slowly made his way down the gentle grassy slope, every step as painful as the next. As he walked, memories began to flood his mind, as they did every time he visited this place. Memories from the past, swirled with darkness and laced with the illusion of hope.

It's a quiet hill. It is. It wasn't.