Track Twenty-Seven

"I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start."

Welcome to the Window. The world is undergoing a state of change. What was once considered taboo is now a leading and empowering reality. We live in a time where this is perhaps a necessity for us to survive, to move forward in unity and stronger than ever. This change is one of the very few positive ones occurring in our dying world. As much as we don't like hearing about it, and as much as it bores us, global warming and the environment around us are on the brink of slapping us back with all the rubbish they've received over the developing centuries. Not only this, war is raged all around us, people die from poverty, starvation, murder and the likes on a daily basis, and so many of us just sit around writing, reading or hearing about it and not really giving a rat's ass.
It's time we got some perspective in our lives.
We may believe that none of this will ever concern us, because "global warming won't really kick our asses in the next century, so by then we'll be dead, and then who cares!" Right? Right?! Um, no, sorry. Wrong. The reality of the situation is that our lives as we know them lie on a hair trigger, the volatility of our positions hardly registering in our frivolous minds though. We fabricate our own outcomes, and at the rate we're producing, we'll smother ourselves in the waste products of these desires.
I know, this may seem like just another one of those articles on "The truth about our planet" or whatever you may read, but unfortunately it really is happening, and going to only get worse if something isn't done.
On the upside, we have the opportunity to now turn to a new leader of the free world, who represents the ultimate in change, and perhaps, the chance to begin reparations. Smile, I've heard he's a cool guy =]

Take it easy everyone.

Chapter Five

Thanks to a ridiculous amount of work my teachers lovingly decided to hand out, I was distracted enough to forget about the incident that occurred in the morning. However, as the day drew to a close, I remembered that the odds of me seeing the girl were considerably high, seeing as she lived less than thirty metres from my bedroom. When the final bell rang for the day, I gathered up my books and headed to my locker to meet Troy.Once we'd gotten our bags, we set off for the walk home, talking about the stupidity of our english topics. Troy was mid-rant when the girl from yesterday and this morning's incident pushed past us without so much as a by-your-leave. I was slightly peeved, so I called out after her.
"Hey where's the damn fire?" She whipped her head around to look at me, and as my eyes met her gaze I saw the glimmer of tears in hers. Shock was still registering in my mind as she turned back to face the front and walked off. Troy hadn't seemed to notice, and as my surprise slowly diminished, I caught the last of Troy's lecture: "... and that's why love is like an egg, get it?"
"Sure, sure, whatever you say man." Egg? What the hell was he on about? We continued to walk on, with Troy beginning a new speech on how maths should die. To me, his words went in one ear and straight out the other. My mind was too busy thinking. Yes, again about the girl. I think I might have a slight problem.

When we arrived at our street, I said goodbye to Troy and headed towards my house. I looked hopefully towards the end of the road, hoping to see the silhouette from yesterday, but it wasn't there. Not wanting to go home just yet, I walked up to the top of the grassy hill, lay down on the grass and stared at the horizon. It was a picture perfect moment, something not unlike what you would find on the back of a stereotypical postcard. A few birds skittered across the now golden with sunset sky, and their piercing calls hung in the air. I savoured the moment, perfect peace settled upon me, and I began to doze off. Nothing could make this scene better. Nothing.
Just as my eyelids shut, a familiar voice cut through my reverie.
"You were wrong." What? "It's more beautiful than anywhere in this world, not just the country." I turned around as my answer tumbled from my lips.
"But how was I wro..." the sentence trailed away, as I found myself looking once again into the most beautiful brown eyes.
Heart failure anyone?

Midnight

Zephyrs of dark blue
Entrance eyes tonight
Reeling away with you
On this hour so quiet

Finally

Yesterday I searched the earth
Only to find emptiness
Underneath and above

Was every step a waste?
Every breath taken in vain?
Releasing the realisation
Easing into the loneliness

If I have to wait here
More than time can survive
Pushing through the years
Oh, I would fight to stay alive
Struggle for every minute
Simply to find what I need
In my life, this quietness I live in
Bowed in prayer, silently plead
Let me find it before darkness comes
Evening light brings the cold

These failing lights casts shadows
Over the world, only one is noticed

For all the time spent
In the dying world
Now seeing you here
Daylight has a purpose

Dorito?

Could there possibly in this world exist
Other words to describe
Rising feelings, gracing this?
Nothing, apart from these I write

As I think of you
Night and day
Dream the night away

Could there possibly in this life exist
Happiness that I have found
Every conscious moment bliss
Even when darkness surrounds
Say you'll stay till the world falls apart
Evermore engraved in my heart

Mental Blank

Wasn't it just yesterday
Heaviness plagued my mind
Each minute was an effort
Remembering you
Even so, now it's gone

[Disappeared?]

Write Me A Song

Little keys, ringing so softly
Underneath the heavy lid
Listen closely, carefully
Little keys, ringing so softly
As the hammers strike the strings
Bringing love to life
You wrote me this lullaby

Keep It Short

In all the world, there's nothing like this

Live just a little with me
Only then can I sleep
Vague memories my dreams
Easing my restlessness

Yes, there's nothing like this
Oblivion of bliss
Underneath my mask

Believe Me

Stand up, take a walk
A long walk with me tonight
We'll see the world through eyes
Eyes so innocent tonight

We'll see what there is to see
How the world lies sleepy
Sleepy tonight
Through eyes so innocent tonight

Is what you saw tonight
What you believed was true
This world was capable of?
Of course not, you never did

Chapter Four

"Welcome to the most beautiful street in the whole country."
As the feeble words left my mouth, my mind didn't completely register what exactly I was saying. When it did however, a few seconds later, I mentally kicked myself in the shins. Welcome to the most beautiful street? You idiot boy, you deserve to be slapped! Silence followed, and I felt my embarrassment rising to my cheeks. I turned to leave, when a voice stopped me dead, saying, "Yes, it's breathtaking isn't it?" Heartbeat failing, failing, beeeeeep.
Her voice was so quiet, so sweet, it's hard to describe it without getting ridiculously cliche. I faltered for a few seconds, and stumbled my feet around to face her. When I looked up into her face, I found myself staring into those mesmerising hazel eyes from the morning. Staring, staring, staring for too long it felt, and yet not long enough. Finally I managed to strangle a few words from my dry throat. "I sometimes lose track of time just staring into the same sunset." Great, once again, so smooth aren't we, Mr Suave? "Don't blame you, I've never seen the sun in such a way before." came the reply.
"I haven't seen you before, are you new around here?" I asked, suddenly realising the obvious.
"Yep, just moved to this street two days ago, and I'm glad I did." So was I. The small conversation fell quiet, as we both turned back to the sunset, which was almost already over. A few seconds later, the sun disappeared behind the hill, and the street was suddenly dark and colder. "Well, I better get going." and with that, she walked towards the house opposite mine. I quietly thanked God for His perfect placement, then made my way back over to Troy, who was doubled up with laughter, gasping and wheezing at my dismal failure. "Wow, that was so sad, I should have recorded it and put it up on youtube!"
"Oh very funny Troy." I punched him lightly on the arm. "I'm going home, catch you in the morning bro." I walked into my driveway and through the doors of my house, the hazel eyes firmly embedded in the front of my memory.

The next day, as Troy and I arrived at school, there was a commotion happening in the main quadrangle. We pushed ourselves through the surrounding crowd, only to see the girl from yesterday sitting on the ground, hands covering her face, while two other girls were pointing at her yelling insults. In the space of a second, I was on on the ground next to her, put a hand on her shoulder and told the other two girls in a rather impolite manner to piss off, which they did after throwing me a dirty look. Troy quickly dispersed the crowd, while I helped up the fallen girl. "What was that all about?" I asked her as she clambered to her feet.
"It was nothing, don't worry about it, they just thought I'd stolen something from them." Stolen something? Bit of a steep accusation wasn't it?
"You sure you'll be ok? Do you want me to - "
"I said I'm FINE!" she snapped at me, promptly pushing me away then storming off with her books. I must have been staring after her in such a bemused manner before Troy interrupted my reverie by clobbering me over the back of the head with his heavy maths book. "Snap out of it Kase, let's get to class." Casting a final look at her retreating back, I headed towards my English classroom. What a way to start the day.

Somewhere

In broken cities where
The streets are lined with glass
The streets are lined with glass
In broken cities fair

In broken cities cold
Children are left to die
Children are left to die
In broken cities sold

In broken cities here
We fight for every breath
We fight for every breath
In broken cities fear

Where'd You Go [Revised]

Chorus.
Where'd you go
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone

V1.
I struggle to find the right words for this
How do I tell someone just how much that I miss
The every little thing, that they did or said
That made me feel like I had the fairytale from books I read
Believe me, I never thought I could push you away
For trying so hard to impress you with the words I could say
The person that I could fake, could never replace
What you gave to this mistake, this one you erased
I find myself trying to stay by the phone
Hoping for a call in the times I feel so alone
But I feel like an idiot, hoping and praying
For something that'll never happen, not in this life that I'm staying

Bridge.
So, I want you to know, I'm a little broken up
Being stuck here waiting, at times debating
Asking you if you've forgiven me, or simply forgotten
But either way, it's too late now, and I'm singing

Chorus.
Where'd you go
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone

V2.
You know, this person I used to be
Used to fake my way to gains just for me
Used to change who I was, just to get some attention
Not once thinking I'd left with nothing but a confession
Of my faults and my flaws, every single lost cause
Stuttering and mumbling excuses to mocking applause
Trying to pick it back up, then the final straw fell
Now you've left and I'm here, nothing more left to tell

Bridge.
So, I want you to know, I'm a little broken up
Being stuck here waiting, at times debating
Asking you if you've forgiven me, or simply forgotten
But either way, it's too late now, and I'm singing

Chorus.
Where'd you go
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone

Track Twenty-six

"These hammers and strings
Have been following me around"

Jack's Mannequin

Welcome to the Window. It's been a long time since I last added a track to this compilation, so I thought I'd better resume.
Letting go is always easier said than done. For some, it's simply a matter of dumping that girl or boy they've been going out and hooked up with too many times. For others, it's leaving behind something that's not meant to be lost. I sometimes too easily say to people who've just lost a friendship that they should "learn from it, let it make you stronger, and you have better friends around anyway". When it came to me though, I found myself thinking, "Ah yes, right, I'm about as clueless and helpless as a... a... thing that's very clueless and helpless."
There's only so long you can really sit around in pools of regret and pity, but let's face it, the faster you get out the better right? Perhaps wrong, these pools get quite comfy.
So, in short, all I wanted to say was make sure you can walk the walk, and not just talk the talk, and yes, you can take it from me, because I do that all the time. Or not.

Smile =] and take it easy

Begin To Finish

Five.
Hopefully, one day
You'll forgive me for
Everything I caused
To go wrong for you

Six.
One day, you'll speak again
To me, the words that were
The words that said it all
Making my day brighter
Than these dry, dying thoughts

Seven.
Meanwhile, while I fake the smile
That everyone longs to see,
Believe I don't hide inside
It's a quiet hill with you
Words rarely spoken twixt us
Without you though, the quiet kills

Eight.
I never thought that my efforts
Could open up a part of you
Which would let me into your life
And was I right? So very right
The doors to you were closed for me
While others entered seamlessly
Left outside, knowing how I failed

Cue Music.
Koishikute

Slip Away

Scrawled on a scrap a paper
Sliver of a whispered secret
Smokey as haze, the tear's vapour
Sighing with the weight of a heartbeat
Step into the sky, words be your stairs
Swirling higher, higher till clouds
Stain my sight, hiding disrepair
Still walking onwards, in silence so loud

As every moment creates a life
Another passes on, clinging desperately
Angst fighting its way slowly through strife
Awash with thoughts only you knew could be
At the peak of realisation is reached
Acidic memories melt away every sorrow
Abused, beaten, till the doors are breached
Again you fall, awaking in yesterday's tomorrow

Run Away

Could I please
Just flee this day
Escape this coming night
Look in my eyes
My heart's on it's knees
Waiting for you to say
I can just run from sight
I'll run as the crow flies
Straight to nowhere
Where I began
Could I please
Just run away

Fade To Grey

Willing everything to crumble
Heavy thoughts rising tonight
In fear, and shame I fumble
This very life I live, I'll fight
Even as I fade to gray

Bringing hope, possibility
Leave despair at the door
Another rise in ability
Could it be, I can be more?
Knowing this, I fade to gray

Chapter Three

The day passed quicker than I anticipated, all the classes seeming like a blur. Although I had crumpled it up and thrown it into my bag, my mind kept refreshing the image, constantly bringing the face up with the fleeting snapshot my eyes had registered of the girl in the hallway. Why had I drawn her? What was going wrong with me?

School had ended, and as Troy and I walked towards the street where our houses lived side by side, I was still thinking about the picture, head bowed in concentration, rotating it over and over as Troy babbled on about "this babe who was so totally digging him", and then entered an extravagant descriptive rant on her appearance. Same old Troy, same old interests.

Our street was one of the most fortunate and beautiful in the district. Why, you ask? Well, firstly, it was lined with large maple trees which, now in autumn, turned the street into a living sea of golden red. Then there was the park at the end of the street, with a large grassy hill overlooking the rows of houses. In the daytime, especially during summer, the hill was washed with sunlight, creating the perfect picnic spot. Sunset was the most spectacular, for the sun falls behind the hill, making it the most breathtaking place to both see from afar and be. However, not many of the street's residents knew of this hidden treasure, with most of them too busy with their careers and studies. Typical, never pay attention to the finer details which create the surviving happiness in a being.

Turning the corner into our street, Troy suddenly stopped walking and talking. At first I didn't notice, until the quietness of my own footsteps registered in my mind. I looked up and behind me to ask him why he'd stopped. Instead of a verbal response, he simply lifted his hand and pointed to the far end of the street, to a figure with long amber hair, flowing in the soft wind. The figure was facing the hill, and in that instant, the sun began to set behind the hill, casting brilliant rays across the street, and illuminating the figure in front of me. It was an image I still carry with me in my minds eye to this day.

I turned back to Troy, only to my surprise he was right next to me, staring as well. "It's that girl!" he said in hushed tones, almost fearful of ruining the moment.
"So what?" I growled, knowing very well what he was hinting. Yet again though, in the place of saying something, he took a physical approach, and began to quickly shove me in the girl's direction. Loudly protesting, I was steadily herded towards her, desperately trying to escape Troy's long reach. Before long, we reached a point a few metres behind the girl, and with a final heave, Troy sent me stumbling, almost crashing into her. Waving his arms at the girl in shooing motions, I knew he was telling me to talk to her. I was already to close to just sheepishly leave, so summoning up my courage, I took a deep breath and said...

Drums Me

Kick the solid bass in
Just one more time
Strike that snare, grin
As beat meets rhyme
High-hat keep within
My set limits of time
Let it flow, this din
Son of music's crime
Build up steady, now bring
Toms, of thunder, remind
Now cymbals, begin
Loudest crash, softest ride
Moving mountains within
Rolling in fullest pride
Kick the bass in
Just one more time

Offset

Come with me
From time to time, there seems to be never enough
White noise to block out the thousand sounds
Calling out to me, constantly weakening my bluff
Till all comes crashing down, yet again, all around
Sit here with me and watch the scene unfold
Everything echoing a thousand times louder
When the single tear falls as you break cold
Your emptiness reveals itself in power
Frequencies lower than the deepest valleys
Higher than all imaginable heights, they bleed
Into your mind-frame, twisting away at the debris
And as it all blends together, one lonely silent plea
I'm losing hope as the world turns with my life in its hands
Torn one way by this, another by that, yet still with you
Watching you slowly break me, it was never part of my plans
But it happens anyway, and now you won't relent, it's true
I should never have tried to bleed it out to or for you
Mistaken I was, and maybe still am, for trying to save
What I was with you, and hopefully forgive too
These cuts and bruises, my scars of this wreckage I braved
Give me a reason to change, and maybe I'll try it
Every little thing has failed so far, I won't deny it
So if this is the cure for me, to break this pain so quiet
Then the consequences I'll face, even if it tears me to bits
Perhaps you'll see, that nothing could ever break me like you
As this ruined earth turns each day, bringing troubles new
Like before, yes, when you break I'll take the blame
And your hollow tears, not fallen for me, will be my pain

[I'm losing hope]